In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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