Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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