Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
