oh god the rape fog is back!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
