She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
worst night to have a conscience
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
