u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How's work?
Spinning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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