You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
