getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize