I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
