He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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