I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
