I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
