That's when you crack a 10am beer
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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