Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
