Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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