I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
