The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
