How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
don't judge my taste in strippers
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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