tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
