i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
