Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
