whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
