Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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