Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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