My balls are so social today.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
