hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
