..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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