Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
