finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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