i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
