And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Someone came in the potted fern
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
