Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
