I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
