Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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