i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
