You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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