i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
