Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
