i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
