When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
