i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Drunk is not a location!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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