Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
