I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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