I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
