Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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