hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
