Soap is not a condiment
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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