So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think my moral compass just broke
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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