What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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