i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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