You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
