Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
